Chapter 20

In the light of day the next morning Jirou's words made no less sense than they had the night before. Maybe it was just that he was being given permission to do something he badly wanted to do anyway, but Ohtori felt the effect of what Jirou had said down to his very soul. He didn't need to make Amano happy, which was just as well because he couldn't at this point. Even if he dropped Shishido entirely and went back to beg forgiveness from his ex-boyfriend, what had happened would always hang between them. And Amano would never be truly happy because Ohtori would never be truly happy. Not without Shishido.

It was time and past time to find out exactly what he and Shishido had been denying themselves. Ohtori was all but vibrating as he ran to the indoor courts where their coach met them for training. He was early, and he could only pray Shishido would be as well, because he wanted to talk to his partner before the practice. Otherwise he was going to be all but tripping over himself with anxiety and anticipation, and that wasn't likely to impress their coach.

He could have just called Shishido's cell and asked his partner to come early to 'warm up' or something, of course, but he was afraid that the moment he heard the older boy's voice he would just blurt out everything. Once he'd made the decision to stop holding back, everything had just seemed to fall into place in his head and his heart and he was dying to tell Shishido.

Thankfully when he stopped to sign in at the desk the attendant gave him two pieces of good news; his partner was here early, and their coach had called to say he was going to be at least fifteen minutes late.

Heart pounding from far more than just the exertion of the run, he made his way slowly down the hall to the change rooms. Slowly only because there were other people around, and he didn't need to cause any accidents or injuries.

"Shishido-san?" He was nervous as well as excited, and the more formal address slipped out before he realized what he was saying. What if Shishido had decided he was tired of waiting, or that Ohtori wasn't worth it after all? Unlikely that he'd have come to such a decision over night, true, but still a possibility. Or worse, what if once they had spent some time together, he realized that Ohtori didn't live up to his expectations?

Before he could work himself into a true panic Shishido's voice answered from behind one of the rows of public lockers. "Choutarou? You mad at me or something? You haven't called me that in a while."

Forcing himself to take a deep breath and calm down a little, Ohtori walked along the narrow aisle between benches and lockers. As far as he could tell he and Shishido were the only ones in the room at the moment, though there were signs that several of the lockers were in use.

When he found the row Shishido was using, he stopped short at the end of the aisle and just stared, suddenly breathless. The older boy had been growing his hair out, and today for the first time since he'd cut it he was finally able to pull it back into a short ponytail again. It was still nowhere near as long as it had once been, and more of it fell out of the tail to hang around his face than was up, but it was a start.

For the first time he really saw the resemblance between Shishido and Amano, and he had to admit that his ex-boyfriend had had some cause for concern on the subject.

It was only a superficial resemblance, though, and even though the short little tail looked just the slightest bit silly, Ohtori privately thought that Shishido looked far hotter with his hair up than Amano ever had.

Then again, he might be a bit biased. And the fact that the older boy was wearing nothing but his shorts and was bent over rummaging in his bag for his shirt probably didn't hurt matters either. My, oh my, Shishido had a fine torso. His back was sleekly muscled, the bulges shifting smoothly under the skin with each movement of his arms. Shishido had started really filling out as well, his shoulders broadening and putting on some bulk in his upper chest.

"Choutarou?" the older boy called curiously. "You there? I thought..."

Finally lifting his head, Shishido caught sight of Ohtori, standing at the end of the locker row and gaping like a mute idiot. The older boy blinked at him, then slowly smirked and straightened. "Well?" he asked, spreading his hands slightly and arching an eyebrow in a way that suggested he knew exactly what was going through Ohtori's head. "See something you like, Choutarou?"

Ohtori had spent half the night planning exactly what he was going to say: how he was going to explain Jirou's words to him, and how he would apologize to Shishido for being such an idiot and holding them both back. He'd meticulously thought out each of Shishido's possible reactions and scripted how he would handle them all, not wanting to end up sounding like an utter moron.

Standing there looking at Shishido, with his hair framing his face and no shirt, a sexy look of smug invitation on his face, Ohtori's carefully planned speeches all flew straight out of his head. The longer he stood there speechless the wider Shishido's smirk got, and finally Ohtori shook his head. He couldn't say anything; fine, he'd just have to be non-verbal about it.

His tennis bag hit the floor with a solid 'thunk' as he was already moving towards his partner. Shishido's smirk turned to a surprised look. "Choutarou? What..."

He never got a chance to finish the question. Ohtori caught him by the shoulders and leaned in for a long, hungry kiss. After a moment of shocked stiffness Shishido melted against him, putting his hands on Ohtori's waist and trying to pull him closer. The older boy made another muffled sound of surprise when Ohtori allowed himself to be tugged forward, and he smiled against Shishido's mouth as he kept moving. It only took a few steps before he had the shorter boy pressed up against the lockers, caught between Ohtori's body and the solid metal with nowhere to go.

Not that Shishido was trying to get away, far from it. His hands clenched at Ohtori's waist as his mouth opened and his tongue probed for entrance. Ohtori granted it willingly, and his breath caught in his throat as they duelled back and forth for a long moment.

It was hot, and not only because they'd waited so long for this. Long practice as a doubles pair had taught them to anticipate each other, to be able to read subtle cues and follow each other's lead easily. Ohtori was pleased to find it seemed to translate well into this application, too.

Finally he had to pull back for air, panting harshly as he forced his eyes open again and looked down at Shishido through a haze of passion. His partner wasn't doing much better, leaning against the lockers like the metal was the only thing holding him upright, his lips already a bit swollen from kissing and his eyes glazed. It was all Ohtori could do not to lean right back in and kiss him again.

"Choutarou?" Shishido murmured before he could act on the impulse. "What... I thought we were waiting? What about..."

"No more waiting, Ryou," Ohtori interrupted him, his voice husky and lower than normal. He felt Shishido shiver against him, and saw the older boy's pupils dilate. "Jirou-san rubbed my nose in how stupid I've been being, and I don't need to be told twice. Forget about Kazuya. The only one I should be worried about making happy is you. I refuse to let my guilt come between us any more."

"Choutarou..." Apparently unable to come up with anything more meaningful than that, Shishido gave up the effort and just stretched up to kiss him again. "You won't regret this," he murmured against Ohtori's mouth a moment later, fiercely. "I swear you won't regret this, Choutarou. I'm gonna make you forget there was ever anyone but you and me... and I'm not going to fuck up this time."

Making a soft sound of agreement, Ohtori captured his mouth more fully so he'd have to stop talking. Now was not the time for talking - they'd done more than enough of that already over the last year, and far too much of it had been hurtful. Now was the time for making up for all of that in a visceral way that couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

As things grew more heated Ohtori was somewhat amused to realize that if he wasn't Shishido's first kiss, he was certainly one of the first. It wasn't that the older boy was a bad kisser, per se, just that his inexperience showed in the way he was a bit too forceful and just a little unimaginative.

Never thought I'd be the senpai in this, Ohtori thought with some amusement as he drew back slightly, not breaking the kiss but rather coaxing Shishido into something both deeper and less agitated than what they had been doing. He took everything he'd ever learned with Amano and used it now on Shishido, playing and teasing and drawing the kiss out until they were both writhing against each other.

If nothing else, Shishido was a fast learner. It didn't take him long before he started trying to copy what Ohtori was doing, at first awkwardly but then with increasing confidence. When his tongue flicked against the roof of Ohtori's mouth the younger boy gasped and leaned harder into him. Then they both gasped as their lower bodies ground together. Ohtori was too much taller than Shishido for them to line up properly, but he could feel Shishido's erection against his thigh as his own pressed into Shishido's upper hip.

"Gods, Choutarou," Shishido sounded like he was dying as he pulled away and buried his face in Ohtori's shoulder, his body shaking with need and passion. "You couldn't have waited until after the tennis lesson to come to your damn senses?"

"No," Ohtori whispered, shaking his head before nuzzling into the soft strands of Shishido's hair. "Do you really think I could have gone through the whole two hours without tripping over my own feet if I'd been trying to hold this inside?"

"Guess not, but gods..." Shishido groaned and shifted against him, rubbing up hard. Ohtori's hands tightened on his muscled shoulders, and Shishido dipped his fingers past Ohtori's waistband in retaliation. "We're not gonna be able to play like this."

"Coach called to say he'd be late," Ohtori replied with a grin as Shishido moaned again at his words.

"Late enough for us to deal with this?" Shishido asked breathlessly, arching against him again and biting into the juncture of his throat and shoulder. This time it was Ohtori's turn to make an inarticulate sound of passion, tilting his head to give the older boy better access.

Before Ohtori could answer the door to the outside banged open, and a group of half a dozen chattering teenagers came into the change room. He and Shishido sprang apart like they'd been burned even though they couldn't be seen from the door, then gave each other sheepish looks.

"We'll finish this later," Shishido growled heatedly, the look in his eyes turning the words from a promise almost to a threat. Ohtori shivered, not in the least intimidated but more than a little turned on. "My family isn't home, you can come over after practice." He phrased it as a command more than a request, but Ohtori wasn't about to object. His family was home, and if that kiss was anything to go by he doubted his ability to stay quiet if they went any farther.

Somehow they both managed to finish changing without any further incidents; this was in no small part due to the fact that they were never alone in the room again, and that they changed at opposite ends of the row. By the time they headed out onto the court tension between them was at an all-time high, yet Ohtori felt none of the stress that had always accompanied it before this. Instead there was only anticipation, an eager awareness that things were finally coming to a head between them after almost a year.

Normally Ohtori was totally absorbed by their coached sessions, fascinated by everything they had to learn and all the things they could do to improve their game. They'd already noticeably improved even in the short time they'd been working with the man, and he knew Shishido felt the same way he did.

Today he found it difficult to concentrate, however. Time seemed to drag by interminably, and yet everything happened in a sort of haze such that he would look back on it later and not really be able to remember anything they'd learned.

Oddly, their performance didn't really suffer for their distraction. Maybe it was because they were so hyper-aware of each other, but they were reading each other better than ever. It did make it hard for them to pick up on the new things he was trying to teach them, however, and Ohtori could tell the coach had noticed the difference.

Finally the older man clapped his hands twice. "All right, that's enough for today," he declared, though according to Ohtori's watch they still had a good ten minutes to go. As always at the end of their lessons he and Shishido were both panting and dripping with sweat; the man worked them hard, pushed them to their limits, but neither of them were the type to complain when it was so obviously helping them.

"Go home and work it off," he instructed them wryly, and Ohtori blushed furiously as he realized what the man was implying. "Don't come into a session in this state again, understand me? It's a waste of my time and yours."

Well, chances were good that they weren't the first doubles pair the coach had worked with who were partners off as well as on the courts, and they probably wouldn't be the last either. Still blushing, he bowed slightly. "It won't happen again," he promised ruefully. It damn well better not! After today at least, there wouldn't be the sort of pent-up anticipation they were dealing with now.

"Make sure it doesn't," the coach agreed. "I'll see you both tomorrow. Be ready to work hard to make up for today."

"Yes sir!" they both chorused, and he nodded and turned to leave. As always the moment the door closed behind him, Shishido and Ohtori both staggered over to collapse on the bench, completely exhausted.

"Think we could have been any less obvious?" Shishido asked, and Ohtori chuckled.

"Maybe. If we'd really been trying," he replied wearily, groping blindly for his water bottle. He felt like he didn't have even enough energy to turn his head to look for it. "Thank you," he added as Shishido handed it to him without being asked. "I mean, we could have started making out in the middle of the court, or something..."

"We still could," Shishido suggested, turning his head to give Ohtori a sly smile. "We've got the court for another ten minutes. I can't tell you how many times I've fantasized about just pouncing you right into the court over the last couple of months..."

The blush that had been starting to fade returned with a vengeance. "Ryou!" he protested, laughing. Though the truth was, he'd thought the same thing himself more than a few times. "Do you really think ten minutes would be long enough?" he mock-pouted at his partner - at his boyfriend, he supposed, though it was still odd to think of the older boy in those terms.

"Not for what I've got planned, hell no," Shishido agreed with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "But enough to get us back to the state we were in when we walked in here? Fuck yeah."

"Is that..." really a good idea? he'd wanted to ask, but Shishido cut him off by turning on the bench and kissing him passionately. Since he wasn't really objecting, Ohtori stopped trying to talk and just kissed him back, uncaring that anyone could look through the small window on the door and see them. At least this was the only court the facility had, so it wasn't like they were sharing the room with anyone else.

"All right, we're leaving now," Shishido declared gruffly as they drew apart again. Not very far; Ohtori had his hands tangled in the fabric of the older boy's shirt near the waist, and Shishido had draped his arms over Ohtori's shoulders, so there wasn't much room for them to separate.

"Sure, okay," Ohtori agreed in a daze. He made no move to get up, not sure his legs would support him, and still fighting the urge to lean in and kiss his partner again. He hoped this mindless urgency that had caught them would ease once they'd gotten the worst of it out of their systems, or they were going to end up having trouble functioning any time they were together.

"You're not helping, Choutarou," Shishido groaned, smacking him lightly across the back of the head. When Ohtori gave him a surprised look, he sighed and unwound his arms, moving back on the bench. Ohtori let him go, and once they had some space between them it became a little easier to breathe. "That's better. Haven't I told you not to look at me like that, damn it?"

"Was I looking at you like I wanted you to ravish me again?" Ohtori asked in amusement. "That's probably because I do, actually. Why am I not allowed to do that any more?"

"Oh, you can do it all you like," Shishido agreed, his voice shaking slightly as he stood. "Just not in public! Or I'm going to end up doing something that'll get us both arrested, because all my much-vaunted determination and willpower is damn near non-existent where resisting you is concerned."

He offered the younger boy a hand up from the bench, and Ohtori accepted it, letting Shishido help him to his feet. Once he was up, though, he couldn't resist leaning in to kiss his partner again. Shishido moaned and fisted his hands in Ohtori's shirt, before abruptly pushing him away. "No more of that," he declared firmly, turning to gather up his equipment. His voice might be firm but his hands were shaking, Ohtori noticed.

Smiling, ignoring the way his own hands were a bit unsteady, Ohtori gathered his things as well. Just in time - as he was picking up the last ball basket the door opened and the next group of people entered the court.

"Here, you take my racquet and water, and I'll take the balls back to the front desk," Ohtori offered. Shishido nodded and traded his two baskets for Ohtori's equipment, leaning in close for a moment as he did so.

"Don't come into the showers until I come out, or we really are going to end up arrested for public indecency," he warned, the flame of lust in his dark eyes making Ohtori shiver again. Unable to find his voice, Ohtori just nodded and tightened his grip on the baskets to help him stay anchored.

Watching Shishido walk off towards the change room, Ohtori took a deep breath and tried to get a grip on himself. They'd been denying themselves for so long that things were getting out of hand a bit too rapidly. He felt like he was spinning out of control, and while it wasn't an unpleasant sensation by far he was still worried about what would happen when the initial rush was over. He knew he'd made a lot of mistakes with Amano, and he didn't want to make the same ones or worse with Shishido.

Taking his time about it to give Shishido a chance to shower and change before he got there, Ohtori went up to the front desk and returned the balls. The pretty high school girl manning the desk smiled at him and tried to flirt with him, but all he could do was summon a faint smile in return and keep his answers short without being rude. Flirting with girls had never been something he was good at, and at that moment he had less interest in it than he ever had before. Shishido was waiting for him; strong, beautiful Shishido with his rough speech and sleek muscles. Why on earth would Ohtori want to stand around flirting with a girl, however pretty she might be?

It did mean that she dawdled over the paperwork a bit, trying to get him interested, and any time taken here meant there was a better chance he would not walk in and find Shishido half naked, wet and dripping from his shower, and... gods, he really needed to stop thinking about it if he didn't want to embarrass himself. Finally he was able to make his escape when another group of people approached the desk and she was forced to give him up as a bad cause.

"Ryou?" he called as he entered the change room and made his way to the row where they'd left their things.

"Hey, what took you so long?" Shishido asked, leaning around the corner of the lockers to peer at him in curiosity. Ohtori was relieved to see that his partner was already wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and was just towelling his hair dry. "I was starting to think maybe you'd changed your mind."

"No," Ohtori replied immediately. He might have some reservations about how fast everything was happening now that there were no barriers between them, but the last thing he was going to do was change his mind! "No, nothing like that, the girl at the desk was just flirting with me."

Even as the words left his mouth he winced, half-expecting a jealous inquiry as to whether he'd been flirting back. Amano's jealousy had always been strongest towards Shishido, but there had been hints of it towards everyone else, too.

Sure enough Shishido scowled, but his words surprised Ohtori. "What, is she stupid? Like someone as hot as you are wouldn't be taken already. Anyway," the scowl turned into a wry look, and Shishido laughed ruefully. "You're a tennis player, and apparently the majority of us aren't interested in women. You'd think she'd have figured that out, working here."

Laughing despite himself, Ohtori felt some of the tension ease from his shoulders. "She can always hope, I suppose. Let me just grab a quick shower and change, and then we can get out of here."

"I'll wait for you out front," Shishido said, and Ohtori nodded. That was probably wise, all things considered. One last heated look from his partner, and then Shishido was gone, leaving Ohtori to finish in peace.

Well, relative peace, anyway. Ohtori was glad there wasn't anyone in the immediate vicinity as he stripped down, because his body certainly wasn't shy about letting him know what it wanted. Blushing, he hurried into the shower area, wanting to be done as quickly as possible.

His relationship with Amano had gotten him used to having a regular outlet for the inevitable teenage hormones, even if they didn't usually follow it through to the very end. The time since he'd broken up with the other boy had been an exercise in frustration, and the current anticipation of what was coming wasn't helping matters any. Ohtori felt like he was wound tighter than a high-tension racquet string, and the least little pressure might break him entirely.

Standing under the hot water of the shower, he was tempted to release some of that tension by jerking off quickly. There wasn't anyone else in the shower room, though that could change with very little warning. It occurred to him to wonder if Shishido had been tempted by the same thing, and whether his partner had given in to the temptation. After all, it wasn't as if their bodies wouldn't recover fast enough for them to enjoy themselves by the time they got to Shishido's house, nearly half an hour away by transit.

Almost, he wished he'd thought to ask his partner before coming in here. Only that would have been far too embarrassing a question to just blurt out like that, and his cheeks heated just thinking about it. Groaning, Ohtori leaned against the slick tile of the shower wall and resigned himself to waiting. It wouldn't kill him, and if Shishido had chosen to wait he might be disappointed if Ohtori hadn't.

Hurrying through the rest of his shower, Ohtori exited the room just as a couple of other men entered, laughing and joking to each other. He ducked his head as he passed them, not wanting them to see his flushed face and wonder about it. He was glad he'd decided to wait, or they might have caught him at it. He was equally glad for the towel he'd already wrapped around his waist.

It was a matter of moments for him to pull on his clothes and rub his hair half dry. The air would do the rest, it was short enough that it would be dry by the time they reached Shishido's place. Shoving his things into his tennis bag, he zipped it and slung it over his shoulder. With another deep breath to try to calm his racing heart, he headed out to meet Shishido.

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