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Part 4 A few minutes later there was a knock on the door - Ken's knock, bold and fearless. "Oi, Aya?" the ex-J-League player called a moment later, confirming the identity of the intruder. "You in there?" Rubbing the back of his neck, Aya stood, heading to the door. He hesitated briefly, then sighed. Might as well get it over with. Opening the door, he peered at Ken. "Yes?" Ken looked back at him with wide eyes. "Uh... WHAT did you say to the kid?" he demanded. "I mean, it seemed like he was handling you pretty well... what did you say to set him off like that?" "Is he sleeping in your room tonight, then?" Aya asked quietly, debating. He could let Ken in and explain, or freeze him out, as always... With a faint growl, he stepped back, not-quite-rude in his invitation inside. Ken slipped inside and closed the door behind him, leaning against it as if for support. "Well, that's what he asked," the younger assassin admitted. "He looked... REALLY pissed off. I mean, unbelievably. I don't mind if he stays with me tonight, but... is this gonna be a habit?" "No," Aya said flatly. "It is not. I'll go talk to him," Aya said. "Forgive me for pushing you out of your room for a bit," he added suddenly, looking at Ken. "I'll do my best not to take long." Ken shrugged easily and moved away from the doorway. "No problem. Take as long as you need." He grinned suddenly, his dark blue eyes dancing. "Personally, I think you've finally met your match, but that's just my opinion." "Met my match how?" Aya asked coldly, staring at Ken. Ken's grin widened fractionally. "He's as stubborn as you are, Aya. And it looks like he's not gonna take any shit from you, even if he did seem kinda docile at first." "Hmm," Aya answered, stalking out of the room and down to Ken's. He hesitated briefly over knocking, finally abandoning the idea for striding into the room. Chihaya sat on the chair in Ken's room, looking out the window at the sunset antics of the birds outside. He stiffened when the door opened, but did not look around. "You got what you wanted," he said. "I'm out of your bed. Ken said it was okay if I stayed with him tonight, and then tomorrow we'll work something more permanent out. Maybe I can sleep in the couch downstairs where you were talking to that woman." "I'm not trying to hurt you, Chihaya," Aya said, closing the door and leaning against it. "I'm trying to keep either of us from getting in over our heads." "What do you want from me?" Chihaya demanded, finally turning to look at him. His eyes were still angry, but there was hurt there as well. "Yes, I'm attracted to you. You're gorgeous. Yes, I feel grateful to you for rescuing me. Yes, I'm probably a little bit infatuated with you. But I'm not going to mistake that for never-ending storybook love, Aya. I HAD that kind of love once, and you don't get that lucky twice in one lifetime. Most people don't even get that lucky ONCE in a lifetime!" The hurt was growing as he spoke, and he turned away again, presumably to hide his expression. "I never meant to make you uncomfortable. We can talk to Omi tomorrow... maybe Ken can be my tracker instead of you. He's probably more believable as my 'lover' anyway." "Forgetting for a moment all the reasons we've already stated for who your tracker should be," Aya said, "there's the small matter of me getting confused, too." He blinked, stopping as he heard himself. That hadn't been what he'd intended to say... but it was also the truth. He growled, raking a hand through his hair. Chihaya snuck a peek back at him from under his bangs. "You?" he repeated hesitantly. "I... don't understand. Why would you get confused?" Aya looked away, frowning. "It would be easy. Let's leave it at that." He debated a moment, then said, "I didn't intend to throw you out of my bed. Yes, you make me uncomfortable. I don't want to get used to... waking up the way I did this morning." A faint blush stained his cheeks, but he ignored it. "But we're both a-adults. We can handle sleeping in the same bed together for an extended period of time." Chihaya scuffed his toe into the carpet, and at that moment he certainly didn't look particularly adult. But at last he sighed and looked up, and his eyes were far too world-weary. "Okay. I'm sorry I got so angry. And I promise I'll do my best not to... give you a repeat of this morning," he added, blushing faintly. "It was both of us, Chihaya," Aya said, shaking his head. He moved forward, coming to rest before the boy. "We'll sort it out." "So... now what?" Chihaya asked, looking back at him. "I guess we give Ken back his room?" "For starters. And figure out a permanent place to go when one or both of us needs to cool down," he added, holding out a hand to Chihaya. Chihaya took it and allowed Aya to help him to rise. Once more the redhead was surprised by how little the boy seemed to weigh. Aya stared down at him for a moment, then laced their fingers together. "I apologize for being so harsh... particularly today. I know it has not been an easy day for you." Hesitantly, Chihaya squeezed his fingers in return. "It's okay. I guess it was just... overwhelming. And I know it was a rough day for you, too... you're obviously a very private person, and I know it must be difficult for you to have me intruding on your space all the time." Aya nodded, tugging him toward the doorway. When they reached it, he let go, opening the door and gesturing Chihaya out. "Then we both get an excuse?" he asked, sounding very faintly amused... and mostly still nervous. "I suppose so," Chihaya said, laughing slightly. Ken was lounging in Aya's doorway, clearly waiting for them. The brunette gave them a grin and a thumbs up when he saw them come out together. "So, I guess this means I've got my room back?" he joked, pushing away from Aya's door. "Don't kill each other tonight, or I'm gonna feel guilty, okay?" Aya looked at Ken, then down at Chihaya, a faint smile on his face. "I don't think I'm capable of killing him," he admitted, nodding once to Ken as his teammate passed. Chihaya blinked up at him as they entered Aya's room and the door was shut behind them once more. "Oh, really?" he asked wryly. "Trust me, you've only BEGUN to see me at my most infuriating." He chuckled. Aya's chest tightened at the smile, and he quirked his lips faintly, heading to the dresser and tugging out some of the pajamas they'd gotten for Chihaya. "And you've not seen me at my worst, either," he shrugged. "When you see who I really am, you may run screaming." Shaking his head, Chihaya took the pajamas. "On your worst day, I doubt you come anywhere close to Ashiya or Morikawa, Aya. THEM I would run screaming from. Not you." Aya shuddered, looking a bit green. "No... no I'm not like him," Aya agreed, thinking of the darkened lab. "Well, there you go," Chihaya told him with a faint smile. "Grouchy and scowling I can handle... I'm used to it." Aya searched his eyes, then sighed, changing. "Either I'm taking the floor or we're sleeping as we did last night," he murmured, moving toward Chihaya and the bed. Chihaya had changed as well while Aya's back was turned, and he looked even younger in his pajamas. "I'd... rather sleep like we did last night," Chihaya admitted. "If nothing else, it will save us the argument over who has to take the floor." Aya nodded, gesturing for Chihaya to climb into bed first. "Fair enough, I suppose, since you'll likely challenge me for it anyway." Chihaya grinned at him. "NOW you're starting to get the idea," he said, and scrambled into the bed, pressing up against the wall. Aya climbed in after Chihaya, hesitantly reaching out and wrapping an arm around him. His heart was pounding, his body hyper-aware of the warmth between them and the comfortable feeling of Chihaya settled in his arms. Chihaya squirmed until he was comfortable, ending up with his head on Aya's shoulder and his hand lightly resting on the larger man's chest. "Is this okay?" he asked quietly. Aya looked at him for a few moments, then smiled softly. He raised a hand, capturing Chihaya's and holding it there gently. "Yes," he murmured. "It's just fine."
Aya awoke to a faint whimpering sound, and the sensation of something clutching at his nightshirt. Forcing his eyes open, he heard the whimper again, this time clearly coming from the vicinity of his shoulder. Chihaya's fist tightened a little further, and the boy shuddered in his sleep. Aya blinked, recognizing it for a nightmare almost immediately. He reached up, stroking Chihaya's cheek softly, brain still muzzy from sleep. "Chihaya," he murmured, voice low and husky. "Wake up. It's just a dream." Chihaya flinched violently away from his touch, crying out and throwing up his hand as if to ward off a blow. "Messiah! NO!" he shrieked, face twisting in pain as he hunched around his left shoulder. "Please, God... NO!" Aya blinked, then reached out, grabbing his arms. "Chihaya!" he said, grateful the walls in the place weren't thin. After the first few nightmares all around, they'd each chipped in to have them soundproofed. "Wake up!" He was wide awake now, eyes dark with worry. Chihaya moaned, a creature in mortal agony, and clutched at his shoulder. "Kagetsuya... NO!" His eyes jerked open as he screamed again, cringing back against the wall. Aya followed him, pressing him to the wall as he tried to make Chihaya see who it was. "Chihaya! It's me," he said, body pressing to Chihaya's as his hands dropped away from Chihaya's arms. "It's Aya!" Chihaya fought him for a moment, then slumped into his arms. "A-aya?" he repeated, his eyes dazed but with sense slowly creeping into them. "What happened to Messiah? Or... no, wait..." he looked briefly confused. "Messiah is dead. I... I had a nightmare, didn't I? I'm sorry..." "It's okay," Aya said, slipping his arms around Chihaya and cradling him close. "It was a nightmare." One hand stroked Chihaya's hair, an unconscious, rhythmic motion that soothed them both. Chihaya trembled in his arms, his hands coming up to clutch at Aya's shoulders. "I hate that dream," he muttered into Aya's shoulder. "I really, REALLY hate that dream..." Aya nodded, holding him close. "We all have nightmares sometimes, Chihaya," he offered gently. The boy laid his head on Aya's shoulder, still shaking. He seemed almost compelled to talk, as if he hoped by speaking the pain it might be lessened. "Ashiya... he actually succeeded, once. He created his 'perfect soldier'... he just couldn't reproduce the experiment. Messiah was everything he'd hoped his bio-humanoids could be... and more. He... he fell in love with me, sort of. Ashiya could control his mind, and he made Messiah turn on me, attack me." Chihaya shuddered harder, his left shoulder twitching as if in pain. "When Messiah realized what he'd done, he... he self-destructed, and he took Ashiya with him. I thought that would be the end of it... I never dreamed Ashiya had an assistant." "And Kagetsuya?" Aya asked, voice soft. "What about him?" "Kagetsuya finally tracked down where Ashiya had taken me, just in time to see Messiah... attack me," Chihaya faltered. "He got Messiah off me, then took half a dozen bullets to protect me." "I see," Aya nodded. "He loved you." "Yes," Chihaya whispered. "Even though I'd been stupid... even though I nearly tore us apart over Messiah... he still was willing to go that far for me..." A hot drop of water splashed onto Aya's collarbone, followed by another, and another. "I miss him s-so much..." "It's okay," Aya said, casting about for something to say. "The two of you loved each other... he knows how you feel, even now." Chihaya nodded against his shoulder, still crying quietly. He didn't sob or choke on his tears - the only sound he made was the occasional small sniffle. "I'm sorry for dumping this on you," he said at length. "I guess... being caught by Morikawa... and then seeing Kagetsuya's grave... it was all just too much for me." "It's okay," Aya said again, lamely. "Everyone is entitled to an off-night, and today's been very stressful." He paused, then leaned his cheek against the top of Chihaya's head. "I'm here." "May I... just rest here for a while? Just a few minutes, even?" Chihaya pleaded in a small voice. "It's... comforting." "As long as you want," Aya whispered, curling his arms a little tighter around Chihaya, his eyes closing. They were sitting up, but he didn't care, just wanting to make Chihaya smile again. They sat for long minutes, only the sound of their breathing and Chihaya's occasional hiccoughed sniffle breaking the silence of the night. After some time Aya realized he hadn't heard anything OTHER than breathing from the boy in his lap for some time - a glance down proved that Chihaya had indeed fallen asleep once more, his hands clenched in Aya's shirt, a look of quiet contentment on his face. Aya stared at him for several long minutes, noting the play of moonlight on his face, the way his lips curved ever so slightly upwards in sleep. He looked young, barely fifteen when he slept, his face smooth and sweet. Aya shifted, carefully settling himself down against the bed once more and cuddling Chihaya close, at the last minute pressing a kiss to the top of Chihaya's head. Blushing, he let his eyes slip closed.
Aya glanced up from the register, peering into the back room to check on Chihaya. They'd agreed that he'd have to work about half his normal shifts, spending the rest of the time out in public. It had been almost a week since the day they'd visited Kagetsuya's grave, and over that time, he'd seen more than his share of Chihaya's stubbornness. At the same time, he mused, watching Chihaya trace his pencil over the paper, the boy's eyes clearly focused on Omi and the flower arrangement his teammate was creating, at the same time, Chihaya had slowly wormed his way past Aya's façade. The swordsman was uncomfortably aware that the tenderness he showed in public was less acted than he admitted to. Buso curled up comfortably around Chihaya's ankle, causing the boy to smile brilliantly down at the cat before returning to his paper. Aya wondered, faintly, if Chihaya would show him the pictures, if he asked. He hadn't dared to, really, not wanting to invade Chihaya's privacy any more than necessary. Even so, he'd been tempted on many occasions, wanting something to share with Chihaya other than false dates and nightly embraces. Seeing Chihaya's eyes begin to lift in his direction, Aya turned away, setting the counter to rights. Chihaya stood and stretched, closing his overstuffed sketchbook. In just a week the boy had managed to fill the pages to bursting. He thanked Omi for posing for him, and made his way to where Aya stood. "Are you done?" he asked. "Shall we get out of here before the schoolgirl rush begins?" Bemusedly, Aya nodded, taking off his apron and smiling at Chihaya. "Where are we headed today?" he asked, voice gentle. In the week Chihaya had been around, his teammates had seen a marked difference in Aya, who'd slowly become more personable and gentle, though still the coldest of the four of them. Most of his kindnesses were reserved for the boy pretending to be his lover, many of them things obviously designed to keep up appearances, though the other members of Weiß had begun to wonder about a few. "I thought a quiet afternoon in the park might be nice," Chihaya replied, smiling. "Maybe those adorable ducklings will be back. I'd like to sketch them. Do we have anything we can feed them?" Aya had quickly learned that all animals seemed to love Chihaya, swarming around him incessantly. Likewise, the sight of something small and soft never failed to bring a delighted smile to Chihaya's face. "I think there's some old bread in the pantry," Aya said, shaking his head as his smile widened fractionally. "I'll grab it while you get your pack." There was a small park not too far from the Koneko, but Chihaya generally preferred to make the twenty minute walk to the larger park down by the waterfront. Since it put them into a more public place, Aya never argued with the boy's choice of locale. They settled onto a bench, Chihaya curled up against Aya's side. The ducks and ducklings appeared promptly, even before they'd brought out the bread crumbs to spread around. Chihaya smiled and clucked at them, and started sketching. Absently, Aya draped his arm over the back of the bench, wondering at his sudden desire to drape it over Chihaya's chest. Their late-night cuddlings must have affected him more than he'd realized, he thought, glancing down at the sketchpad Chihaya was drawing in. The picture of the ducklings was already taking shape. Short, swift strokes of the lead pencil gave form and definition to the images of the fuzzy little babies. On the opposite page, the picture of Omi working was complete, done in soft colours with blurred edges that made the young man look even more sweet than he normally did. Chihaya had captured everything about Omi, from the tiny frown of concentration to the darkness always present deep in the hacker's eyes. This from the boy who claimed himself a passable artist, Aya mused, continuing to watch the deliberate lines. "You're good," he murmured finally, unable to stop himself. As he spoke, he leaned his head forward so that the words fell directly into Chihaya's ear. Chihaya smiled shyly up at him. "Do you really think so?" he asked, sounding pleased. "You should have seen my first sketches... they were TERRIBLE. Kagetsuya never said anything, but I could tell he was always trying not to laugh. I guess I've finally just had enough practice at it." "Nothing comes easily at first," Aya shook his head, reaching out to stroke Chihaya's bangs from his eyes. "Anything worth doing takes time and practice. You're good. I know you'll get better, though." Chihaya blushed, and tilted his head slightly to increase the contact. "Do you... want to see the rest?" he asked hesitantly. "When you're done," Aya nodded. "If you're still willing." His chest tightened at the offer and the move, and he couldn't hide the smile of pleasure on his face. "Finish, before we run out of bread." "They won't go anywhere," Chihaya murmured, putting his pencil down and flipping back to the beginning of the book. He offered it to Aya. Aya's eyes narrowed, and he regarded Chihaya thoughtfully for a moment, then shrugged, paging slowly through the book. Most of the pictures were of landscapes or the animals that flocked to Chihaya's presence. Others were of Omi, Ken and Yohji caught in various moments of their lives. Still more were of random people wandering about in the places they had visited. Each captured the intrinsic beauty of the scene in simple, elegant lines of colour. Chihaya had a knack for showing the best of anything, no matter the subject of the picture. But it was the pictures of Aya himself that made him stop to linger - each had obviously had a great deal more time and care spent on it than any of the others. Chihaya had caught him in all of his moods, from angry shouting at the fangirls to the softly tender look he so rarely showed to the world. As he reached the end, he turned wondering eyes to Chihaya, staring at the boy in silent amazement. He handed the book back slowly, some of the images burned into his mind already. Chihaya blushed under his scrutiny, staring fixedly at the ducklings. "So? What do you think?" "They're... incredible," Aya said softly, reaching out and catching Chihaya's chin, turning the boy's face to his. "Very incredible." The youth's violet eyes widened, and he swallowed. He stared into Aya's face, apparently at a loss for words. His lips parted slightly, breath misting over Aya's fingers. Breathing suddenly became difficult. Aya felt himself pulled forward, unable to stop as his lips brushed against Chihaya's, a delicate, chaste kiss that somehow left him more shaken than any kiss he'd ever had before. Chihaya made a tiny mewling sound in the back of his throat, sounding like a lost kitten. He tilted his face up just a bit, enough to catch Aya's lips in a kiss that had a bit more strength behind it. Aya's eyes slid closed, his hand sliding to the back of Chihaya's head as he deepened the kiss further. His heart was pounding, pleasure flooding through him. Somehow, this was different, more than he'd ever imagined. Chihaya's hands came up to clutch at Aya's shoulders, his lips parting further as his tongue hesitantly touched the edge of Aya's lips. The sketchbook fell between them, digging into Aya's ribs as Chihaya shifted slightly closer. Both of Aya's arms came around Chihaya then, cradling him close as he let his lips part. The deeper kiss tasted heavenly, just as he'd begun to suspect Chihaya would. It wasn't until he heard some gasps that he remembered where they were, and tore his head back, breathing heavily as he looked around them. They'd gathered quite an audience, and Aya's cheeks flamed red, his face ducking as he let Chihaya go. Chihaya was panting, his cheeks flushed and eyes dazed as he stared at the taller man. "Aya?" he whispered, seemingly oblivious to their audience. Aya sucked in a breath at his name, then set his jaw, schooling his face into impassivity and wishing he could banish the color from his cheeks as easily. "It was a mistake," he whispered harshly, looking up at Chihaya. "It won't happen again." Chihaya looked first stricken, then resigned. He dropped his eyes to his lap. "Hai. I understand," he whispered, voice choked. "It won't happen again," he repeated, as if affirming the notion to himself. Aya returned to his previous position, careful to keep his face averted from Chihaya's until he could get himself fully under control. Doing that... had hurt. Chihaya gathered up his things, carefully not looking at Aya. "The sun's starting to go down," he murmured. "We should probably get back." "Yes," Aya said, keeping his voice carefully neutral. He reached out for the empty bag of bread and Chihaya's sketchpad, stopping at the last minute. Face stony, he waited until Chihaya was ready, then started for home. Chihaya trailed along behind him, heading for the exit to the park. It was crowded, as the businessmen and office ladies got out of work and went to the park for a moment of fresh air. Ahead of them two young women were approaching on the path, chattering happily away to each other in a language Aya didn't recognize. It took him a moment to realize that Chihaya was no longer following him - the boy had stopped dead in the center of the path, staring at the two women, and he had turned very pale. Aya headed back to him, worried. "Chihaya?" he asked quietly. "What is it?" Chihaya seemed frozen, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. The taller of the two women approaching them stared at him, then tugged on her friend's arm, heading towards Aya and Chihaya with a smile on her face like she was greeting an old friend. Chihaya made a choked noise and took a step backwards. Immediately, Aya stepped forward, putting his body half-in-front of Chihaya protectively as he glared at the women. The taller woman blinked at him and frowned. Her companion gave Aya a quick up-and-down look, then dismissed him visually, her eyes coming to rest on Chihaya. Her frown deepened into a scowl. "Black hair..." she said, then spat something in the language she'd been speaking in early. Chihaya went even paler, and lowered his face until his bangs hid his eyes, one hand coming up to touch his hair self-consciously. The taller woman looked startled, then peered at him more closely, her eyes widening and her hand coming up to cover her mouth in a gesture of surprise. Jaw tight, barely able to prevent himself from violence, Aya turned to Chihaya, offering his hand. "Come on," he said tightly. "Let's go." Chihaya didn't budge, didn't even look at Aya's hand. He murmured something in that liquid language, something that sounded suspiciously like an apology. The shorter woman's eyes snapped, and she actually physically spat at him. Chihaya didn't move, even to wipe away the spittle on his cheek, though Aya saw his eyes fill with tears. The woman spoke one word - it sounded like 'Lucifer'. Chihaya stiffened, then turned and bolted down the path, heading away from the exit and the two women. In seconds he had vanished within the crowd. Aya almost hit the woman, then turned, sprinting after Chihaya, searching for a glimpse of the boy. He wove in and out of the traffic on the pathway, searching fruitlessly. Finally it occurred to him that he had a tracking device specifically tuned to the tracker Chihaya was carrying, PRECISELY for this purpose. Swearing at his momentary idiocy, he dug the tracker out of his pocket and turned it on. Following the beeping indicator led him to the very far end of the park, where a tall willow tree leaned over the railing, long branches trailing into the water. There was no sign of Chihaya, however. Shaken, Aya searched, finally looking up into the tree in desperation. Among the green leaves and branches above him, he finally spotted Chihaya's sneakered foot dangling down between branches. Dozens of birds hopped and chirped among the leaves, far more than the tree would ordinarily attract. Wryly, Aya realized that alone should have told him where the boy was hiding. Aya sighed, hauling himself up into the tree, grateful that willows were easy to climb. He finally settled near Chihaya. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. Chihaya was curled up on a branch higher up - one that would never have been able to hold Aya's weight, though it seemed firm enough under the boy. One foot dangled down for balance, and he had his other knee pulled up to his chest, face buried in his arms. A quiet sniffle was Aya's only answer. "Chihaya," Aya tried again, reaching out and touching the leg. "Come down." Chihaya shook his head and drew that foot up as well, causing the branch to sway. He refused to lift his face, though Aya caught the sound of a choked sob. "Please," Aya asked, voice miserable. "It's okay. Come down. Let me hold you..." Chihaya snorted. "What, so you can get mad and pull away from me again? The hot and cold routine is NOT what I need right now, Aya." His voice was choked with tears, and sounded far too world-weary. Aya flinched. "You're... you're my friend," he finally said. "I don't like seeing you hurt." A sob escaped Chihaya, followed by another. "All I ever wanted was to be liked and accepted," he cried softly. "Is it too much to ask for? Why does God hate me so damn much? What did I do to deserve this? He couldn't even let me have Kagetsuya for more than a few years!" Aya froze, at a loss for what to say. He finally settled for, "You didn't do anything, Chihaya. Sometimes, life is just painful." Chihaya was sobbing openly now, the broken sound tearing at Aya's heart. "Chihaya... come down. Please," Aya begged, hating himself, but hating the women all the more. After a long moment the branches rattled, and Chihaya slid down to sit beside him. The extra weight hardly bowed the branch at all, though the birds all chirped and went a little farther away. He curled up against the trunk of the tree, eyes closed and cheeks damp with tears. Aya reached out, smoothing away the tears on one cheek. "Chihaya... what did they say to you?" he asked, brow furrowed. Chihaya raised one hand to touch his hair, his eyes shadowed with an old pain, older even than his grief for Kagetsuya. "It's... a long story," he sighed. "I... really would rather not talk about it." "I'm sorry," Aya whispered, then added, "I'm sorry for hurting you." Chihaya shook his head and sniffled again. "No, it's not your fault. I promised I wouldn't... do anything like that," he mumbled. "We both did, and I broke the promise first," Aya said softly, cupping Chihaya's cheek. "...And I'm tempted to again," he admitted finally. Chihaya looked up at him, breath catching in his throat. His eyes still sparkled from the tears, making them appear even brighter and more jewel-like than they usually did. Aya stared back, shaking slightly. "I... I don't want you to be a part of my darkness, Chihaya," he whispered. "I don't want to... to hide your light that way." Chihaya stared back at him with an odd expression. "But Aya... you're the one who brings OUT my light," he whispered. "I was drowning in the darkness before I met you... I'd given up on life." "I've done nothing but hurt you," Aya responded, confused. "Why would you care at all?" "Because... because..." Chihaya floundered. "Because you restored my faith in the goodness of Earthians. Because you CARE, even though you try to hide it. Not just about me... you care about your teammates, and about the innocents around you." "I don't care," Aya said automatically, shaking his head. "It's just a job." Chihaya gave him a soft, sad smile. "You care more than you want to admit. To anyone, including yourself. But that's true of most people, for most things." Aya looked vaguely uncomfortable. "Chihaya... I don't want to subject you to the life I live." The boy barked a short laugh. "Haven't we had this conversation already? Several times, in fact?" "Yes," Aya sighed. "We're both too stubborn to give in." Chihaya snickered, a sound of actual mirth this time. "Yes," he agreed. Aya let his hand drop, running a hand through his hair. "What now?" "Now I wait long enough to be sure they've left the park... though they probably stormed out the minute I left their sight," Chihaya sighed. "Then we go home, I think. I've had more than enough people-watching for today." "Who were they?" Aya asked, frowning. Chihaya stared into the distance, thinking. "I suppose you could say... distant relations," he finally answered slowly. "I'm... an outcast from my people, Aya. If they'd been caught in my presence, THEY could have been outcast as well. I hope I don't get them in trouble." Aya growled faintly at that, his brows drawing together and anger spreading over his face. "Don't be angry with them," Chihaya pleaded with him. "It's not their fault. Really." "Anyone who accepts that sort of bullshit deserves my anger," Aya returned darkly. "You don't understand," Chihaya whispered, hiding his eyes again. "To be exiled... it's..." he choked on a bitter laugh. "Hell on Earth." Without thought, Aya reached out, gathering Chihaya to him. "There are other beautiful places, other peoples who will accept you, Chihaya." Chihaya nodded against his shoulder, settling his slight weight easily into Aya's lap. "I know. The Earth is so beautiful, the people so fascinating. It just... all seemed to lose appeal, after Kagetsuya died. And then Morikawa got me, and..." he shook his head. "I just wanted to die before I caused any MORE problems." Aya sighed, nodding faintly and stroking the bangs out of Chihaya's eyes. "I know. I've felt that way too, sometimes. But... Chihaya, it's the wrong thing to do. You have to find something to live for." "I did," Chihaya said, refusing to meet his eyes as the tears welled up again. "But I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid. So, I won't." "What?!" Aya demanded, staring at him with wide eyes. "N-nothing," Chihaya stammered, trying to pull away from him and nearly overbalancing, an act that would have sent them both tumbling to the ground. He caught at the nearest branch, steadying them both. Displaced birds chirped angrily at him. "Not nothing," Aya said firmly, catching hold of Chihaya and staring at him. "Tell me again." "I said, 'I won't do anything stupid!' " Chihaya cried. "What more do you want from me?" "What are you living for, Chihaya?" Aya demanded. Chihaya's jaw clenched. "F-for... you..." he whispered. "For the way you make me feel. Like the sun has come back into the world.... like there's hope again." Aya stared at him a moment, then caught the back of his neck, the kiss surprisingly gentle for the force of his reaction. Chihaya kissed him back desperately, clutching at him for support. Too many emotional upheavals in a short period of time had left him swimming, unable to do anything but react. Finally dragging his head back, Aya stared at Chihaya, breathing labored. His lips quirked faintly. "New promise," he whispered, stroking his fingers through Chihaya's hair. "We'll both do something stupid..." Chihaya stared at him for a long moment, stunned. "Oh God... Aya..." he sobbed, and threw himself at the other man. This time the abrupt action DID overbalance them, sending them crashing through the branches towards the water. Aya yelped, barely managing to toss the sketchbook clear in time so that it didn't get soaked. His arms curled around Chihaya, angling his body so that he'd impact first automatically. They hit the water with a massive splash, in NO way angled to cut the water smoothly. Sputtering and thrashing, they surfaced beside one another, Chihaya's dark hair plastered over his face as he treaded water. Staring at Aya's equally drenched form in shock, Chihaya started to snicker, then to laugh. Aya scowled, glaring at the water, then the tree, then Chihaya. He wiped water from his face, shook it out of his hair, then rose, climbing out of the water and holding out a hand to Chihaya. "What's so funny?" Chihaya climbed up to the railing without help - taking Aya's hand would really only have overbalanced them both again. "Just... us. The situation. The stress, I guess," he said when he'd stopped laughing. Aya snorted faintly. "Let's head home, hmm? I could use dry clothes." His eyes traced Chihaya's face, and he said softly, "If you'd rather I slept somewhere else tonight..." Chihaya blinked at him, a frown appearing between his brows. "Are you... taking it back?" he asked shyly. "I thought... I mean, I thought you meant..." "No," Aya whispered, then strengthened his voice slightly. "No... I just didn't know where we stood." "I think... we were planning to do something stupid," Chihaya said, lips quirking faintly. "In my experience, that usually necessitates being in the same bed - or at least the same PLACE - but maybe you know some tricks I don't?" He gave Aya a guileless look. Aya's cheek flushed deeply. "Are you certain you're ready for... for that?" Chihaya rolled his eyes. "If I tell you enough times, do you think it will eventually sink in that I'm not a fifteen-year-old? I..." he blushed to match Aya. "I've been... ready for that... almost since I met you. You make me FEEL again, and I... want more of that." Aya stared at him, then nodded. "I... Let's go home, Chihaya," he whispered, finally stepping onto firm ground. Chihaya nodded and swung over the railing, bending to pick up his sketch book before taking Aya's hand shyly. Aya laced their fingers together firmly, wondering at the swelling in his chest.
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